Omg. You’re such a bore. All you do is read, rant about random topics, and go to restaurants. That’s not living!
I have gotten a lot of slack lately about being “boring.” Whether it’s from random strangers asking me what I like to do for fun or even my closet friends, someone somewhere always has to put in their two cents about my so called “boring” lifestyle. Since the dawn of my social life dating back to the wonder years of 11th and 12th grade, I have been on the quest of doing what’s fun. From attending amazing rock concerts, skipping school, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, excessive partying, and the occasional shoplifting, I have tried to follow the righteous path of code awesome. Doing those times, I have always submitted to the appropriate attire of those events such as black eyeliner and nails, dark clothing and chains, cardigans and scarves, and the occasional tight and short dress. All of these things were an effort to prosper in the world of wild times and late nights, e.g. fun. But as I have gotten older and more secure in my true personality (I’m a homebody and I’m not ashamed of it), these things no longer fit who I am. So what is a girl to do in the face of adversity toward her choices of fun?
- Stop giving a shit about what people think about you. For the longest time, I was worried about how people viewed me. Even in my stage of true rebellion in high school, I was still part of an enormous group of other like minded adolescences trying to create a scene in the name of rock and roll. (More so emo and scene, but whatever!) None of us were individuals because we all looked, talked, and felt the same. Then there was college when I tried to fit into the urban crowd and the gay scene with voguing and fashion. Of course, that didn’t work out because I don’t even think I listened to rap before college or even cared about heels. So finally, emerging close to mid 20s, I can actually say that I’m not following anyone in particular. I cultivated my interests toward things I enjoy not because my friends like it or the group that I’m in like it, but because I like it. And that’s the most important step in becoming interesting. Which leads to me to my next step.
- Don’t be a follower. No one likes a poser. And for those of you who don’t know what that is, its basically a follower. A person that likes what everyone else does to appear cool. They will say they like all these things but only know what’s trending or popular. Essentially, we all can start out as posers when you’re new to something, but as your interest grows, so does your knowledge about it. A poser will just stop at “I like this” and not go further or only say it in the presence of the people he or she got it from. A poser can also be someone who doesn’t know themselves, which leads to the next step.
- Be somebody. You are you for a reason! I know this one of the most overused quotes by Oscar Wilde because it rings so much truth, you can’t deny its grandeur! “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Who wants to be a copy of someone else? Even though I preach that no one is truly an original because we all are mesh ups of the ideals we have learned, I still believe everyone and everything is unique in some shape or form. Sure, your ideas may be linked with someone else’s but the way in which we use those ideas and pair them with other ideas is what makes you, you. This corresponds with my next point…
- Research your interests. So, you want to stop being clueless about who you are or you just want more knowledge on what you like, research! You love fencing and get excited when someone mentions it but you don’t know what to do about it. The Internet is a powerful tool, use it! Research your city for classes, look at YouTube for examples, join an online community revolving around the sport. A interest that goes unexplored is like buying a book and not reading it. Pointless! Seek out your passions, don’t wait for them to come to you. And if you don’t know what your passions are, just start trying random crap that passes your mind throughout the day. “Hey, (insert activity/interest) would be interesting.” Explore!
- Expand your social circles. Hey, man. I totally get people not getting you. It happens to me on a daily basis but its going to continue happening if you continue to stay around people who just don’t get it. So, you have to find people who get it. There is a really cool site called Meetup.com that allows you type in your interest and BAM! shows you local groups that share the same interests, and guess what?! you can meet them! Yes, it is true! Go now! Your social circles should include people you share things in common with. It’s the most important step in accepting who you are and being able to express it to the world. Do yourself a favor, connect with these people and you’ll never feel boring again because they get it!
- Know who your true friends are. People who aren’t your friends will probably say “That’s dumb/stupid/weird! Don’t do that! You’re a loser. You need to do this instead.” I suggest you run for the hills far away from these people. They are not going to benefit you in the least and will try to change you into the shallow mold they are themselves. Run, bruh! Then there are your core group of friends who have been with you forever and know your every quirk and mistake. They let you be you, even when it’s embarrassing. I am lucky enough to have friends that are open-minded and accept my weird ass. I say something out of the ordinary and they say “Oh, you! (insert dumb smile) You would say some shit like that” or “She’s just being her again.” True friends understand you and accept you for who you are. And those are the people who find you interesting and awesome, even when you’re sitting on a vintage sofa stuffing your face with cheeseburgers watching Samurai Champloo for the eleven time….
Do these steps and I guarantee you social success. But more important than social success is thy love of self. How can anyone else love you when you don’t love yourself? Equally, how can anyone find you interesting if you don’t think so yourself? Be excited about you and your interests. Freely give your opinion on things and don’t care if people don’t agree with them. Life is not rainbows and flowers and not everyone is going to like you. And that’s okay because you have people in your life that do. So, go forth my loves. Do you! The right way!